Priorities

We all have ideas about what changes we’d like to see in our life, and in many instances we have at least a vague plan on how to help these events to happen.

We can set it down on screen or paper, for everything we want to accomplish: weekend chores, getting a novel published, researching our ancestry, launching a website, building a boat… we’re encouraged to “Make a To-Do list! Share your goals with the world by posting them in social media!”

But just as your real values are those you live, your actual priorities are those which are reflected in your actions.

It’s so easy to imagine myself with a higher-paying job, where I’m treated with respect, and my colleagues are competent at their own work. I often think about how wonderful this would be. I formulate plans for my job search. I buy businesslike clothing to hopefully wear to interviews.

I wake up early 4 days a week, intending to spend an hour re-wording resumes or sorting through online employment opportunity listings before getting ready for my current job. But in reality, I’m just as likely to be found spending that extra time in bed, not-quite drifting back to sleep, reveling in the warm comfort: not in front of the computer in my home office, furthering my goals.

So as much as I tell myself and others that finding a new job is my top priority, the ways I’ve spent my free time over the past few weeks reveal that my true focus is on relaxing.

What delusions we tend to live under, what stories we tell ourselves! What fallible and foolish creatures we can be.

Well, I figure it’s healthy to make a realistic evaluation, from time to time, and come up with revised ways to reach our destinations, when it becomes obvious that current methods aren’t working. It’s also practical to stop and reflect about WHY we want to achieve certain things, and reinforce our vision of a better life.

So I gave my goals some serious consideration, and found them to be sensible. I then thought about my methods, and realized that I won’t always have the mindset to be alert and businesslike in the early morning, so when I’m not, I can get online or write on my tablet computer during lunchbreak. I recharged my enthusiasm for continuing, despite all the disinterest and rejection encountered in a job search, by talking with supportive friends.

What challenging situations we are capable of getting through! What complex problems we are able to solve. What clever and triumphant creatures we can be.