Anticipation. 08/17/04
Today, well, feels somewhat like Friday, because I have tomorrow off. I've been looking forward to this Wednesday for weeks, thinking about going shopping, having a nice dinner out, spending a whole day with Steve. I oddly enough haven't been thinking about the reason why I asked for this day off. It's because tomorrow is my birthday. But I'd been thinking "my day off is coming up!" not "my birthday is almost here!"
Weird. Such a complete shift from when I was a kid, when I'd count off the days in such suspense until that momentous morning when I'd wake up and be, for instance, TWELVE instead of only eleven years old, and I would daydream for weeks about presents and design that year's birthday cake in my mind and reflect upon what it might mean to be this new, older version of myself. I'd spend the entire day before thinking, "This is my very last day of being eleven. Whoa. How shall I spend it? How to properly recognize the momentousness of this last day?"
And the birthday itself, I always wanted to be treated special in some way. Or at least not have to do any errands, or schoolwork, or go to church. Gods, how I hated it when my Birthday fell on a Sunday...
I must have been so obnoxious. Trying to get my brother to do all my chores, whining at my mother when the birthday cake didn't come out exactly as I'd envisioned it, bouncing around the house so hyper and bossy, singing and dancing and wearing my best dress in an effort to make the day less mundane.
Tomorrow I will get to spend the day with the man that I love, go shopping at the outlet mall, eat lasagna at the Olive Garden, and wear a gorgeous slinky dress and heels. A celebration not unlike the daydreams of the girl I once was, who thought that getting out of having to mow the lawn and receiving a stuffed cat doll after eating a dry cake with half-melted frosting was a dynamite birthday celebration.
