Blog, Essays & Art

I need a new job NOW. 08/13/03

I haven't been writing here for a while, I couldn't even recall my password to get in for a moment. I have a lot to say, though, and a lot has been happening in my life. I guess I have just been too busy to think of logging in here, and if I thought I was busy before, it is nothing compared to my current daily life.

I spend 8 hrs. at my job (busy summer season at the photo lab) and 3-4 hrs. a day searching for a NEW job. I am sleeping, eating and playing less, which is not good, but I need to get out of this loathsome workplace situation as soon as possible.

The circumstances have gone from bad to nearly intolerable. Not only am I extremely overworked and underpaid as always, but I have now realized that all my hard work and dedication has earned me absolutely no respect. I have 8 years of seniority, but my observations and opinions are immediately disregarded. I have been literally forced into taking on even more menial tasks. Roughly translated from my supervisor’s lengthy lecture: "Operate this here machine all day as well as running your own department. Or lose your job." When I explain in detail all the tasks I am already responsible for each day, I get told that "Those things couldn't possibly take that long. It is an act of insubordination to try and avoid taking on these new tasks."

The worst, WORST part of it is being accused of inefficiency and not doing my share. I was so very justifiably PROUD of all I do each day, multitasking my ass off all 8 hours and coming home exhausted but with a sense of accomplishment. I am doing at least 3 or 4 things simultaneously, at any point during the day I have so many software programs running on my system that it often crashes. I am unjamming the printer with one hand and putting photos in the scanner with the other hand, while burning a CD, monitoring the file transfers, sorting and tracking and logging information, and doing a bit of Photoshop artwork in between all the rest of it. But now I have even more to try and accomplish and keep track of, because apparently, "There's plenty of time to get that done. You're inefficient. You had better learn to become a productive Team Player!"

But I did not claw anyone's eyes out at the meeting in which this accusation of insubordination was brought upon me. I am so freaking proud of how I remained calm and composed during it. Screaming inside. Smiling politely and looking attentive on the outside.

I explained clearly my analysis of the situation, and was businesslike in presenting my views of what REALLY needed to be done to make the lab's workflow not so overwhelming -- such as hiring new employees, and assigning tasks according to skill sets. (Rather than by giving the most skilled professionals such as myself the idiot work like sticking things in unreliable machinery all day, but I didn't say that.)

I have remained polite and hardworking, in the days following the meeting. Which is hard, when I have been treated like a disobedient child who babbles meaningless drivel. I am a highly skilled digital artist who has given 8 years of my life to this company, goddammit.

So now I am doing 5 or 6 things at once while on the job, and then spending hours searching diligently for a new job. Up 2 hours early in the morning, staying up late scouring the online employment ads. Sending resumes all day. Just a new job. That's all I ask. I don't even care WHAT, anymore. I can't hold out for Art/Design jobs, but need to apply for anything I have the least bit of chance of being hired for. Office work, Sales, Assembly, Customer Service. Mind-numbingly menial work, even. I don't care. Because at least I would be doing it in a different environment, with new supervisors, instead of these IMBECILES who I thought might respect me but ended up treating me like shit.