On the Eve of the anniversary of my birth. 08/17/03
Tommorow is my birthday!
To me, it has never been so much about turning another year older, or attaining a new age-number-label. It is about celebrating the fact of my existence. A day to delight in being alive and to reflect upon and appreciate all that my life is made up of.
"...And it came to pass, not too many years ago, on this very day, that the unique creature known as the Cat Goddess was born upon this earth. The anniversary of this momentous occasion shall be commemorated yearly, in whichever manner the Goddess deems appropriate. Let the celebration now begin!"
And a Leo is never so very much a Leo as on their birthday. "Look at me! Give me admiration and attention! Tell me I look more beautiful every year! Give me luxurious gifts and decadent things to eat! Buy me drinks! Let's all show appreciation of the wonderfulness that is ME!!" ...Oh, realistically we lionesses know that other people groan at such vanity and the desire to be the center of attention. So we keep our hopes for adulation mostly in the back of the mind, and decide to simply enjoy as much as possible whatever events, delights and surprises Our Birthday will bring.
This year I am not letting too many people know that my birthday is happening. Last year's partying was all that I could have wished for, with 3 days of celebrating, friends surrounding me and lots of presents. I think that to have a similar amount and style of revelry this time around, would make the memory of my last birthday less special and unique.
And also I am reluctant to have people asking me how old I am and making a big deal out of my AGE. It is just a number, and has no real significance to me, but in our society judgments are often made based on someone's Number of Years. Under 18, and it is assumed that you are "immature and irresponsible". At 21, suddenly you're an "adult" and are expected to spend your birthday showing you ID proudly in bars and getting free drinks. At 25? "Whoa! You've been alive for a whole quarter of a century! Is that cool, or does that mean you're, like, old, now?" And tell someone you're turning 29, and perhaps you get this response: "Oh, 29?! Yeah, right! C'mon, how old are you really? Which "anniversary of your 29th birthday" is this?" Admitting to being 30, 40 or 50, is going to get you even more teasing. "Over the hill! Are you sure you should be staying up this late? You're no spring chicken anymore!"
Of course there are people who know that such remarks are rude and annoying, and will say nice things instead. "You have this mysterious, ageless look, and I could not tell when we first met if you were 18 or 35." Or "You're actually older than I would have guessed. Your fun-loving attitude makes you seem younger." But this year I am hoping to just avoid all the speculation, teasing, and uncomfortable remarks. I can do without all the positive attention from my group of friends as well.
For what I truly want this year is to have an indulgent, romantic celebration at a classy restaurant, just me and my Love. An opportunity to dress up in my satin skirt and lacy blouse and velvet scarf and be the center of his attention, and he will be the focus of mine. A decadent meal to consume, an elegant setting to bask in, a few small gifts to open. I always look forward to a Birthday Dinner, and this one will be all the more special to me as the single celebration of My Day.
